Uncle Booger's Bumper Dumper

By Robert W. Payne

06/16/2009

(Winter 2004)

Look around on the Internet for currently marketed inventions, and you may come across Uncle Booger’s Bumper Dumper, protected by US patent no. 6,125,480. Since for some reason people seem to think I make this stuff up, I urge you take a glance at www.bumperdumper.com during your next lunch break. The U.S. patent system hard at work.

I could describe the patent claims and elements, but if a picture is worth a 1,000 words, here it is:

If ever you needed an object lesson in the importance of the Festo case, now currently before the US Supreme Court, this patent sets forth the issue in clear relief.

The Supreme Court is considering whether making amendments to a patent application prior to issuance of the patent limit the claims to their literal terms. Equivalent elements would not be protected by the patent (i.e. the doctrine of equivalents would not apply). Some of you out there probably wonder what the fuss is all about. Uncle Booger, this fuss is for you.

Without the doctrine of equivalents, this important patent could be (wait for it...) wiped out. The patent claims have a 1.5" notch into which a 1.5" rear-mounting rail would be inserted. You know, flush-like. The endangered doctrine of equivalents would stop someone who fashions a 1.3" notch and rail instead, but otherwise any bozo could design around the patent.

That’s not all. Patent law rewards invention to encourage publication so others can make further improvements for the benefit of society as a whole. What will future Uncle Boogers do? Will they give up on patents in view of more limited rewards, despite knowing that others would copy their work in a Tennessee minute? Perhaps they may even keep these ground-breaking/wind-breaking innovations to themselves. If so, I fear others won’t have these giants’ shoulders to stand on in developing the ultimate bumper dumper -- the one that actually catches the waste before it hits what is fancifully described in bumper dumper literature as the poop deck, but known to you and me as the road.