LaRiviere, Grubman & Payne, LLP

Prose Encounters of the Third Kind

By Robert W. Payne

(Fall 1997)

So, I'm browsing through my legal updates when I come across Urantia Fdn. v. Maaherra (114 F.3d 955). It begins, "This is a copyright dispute between parties who believe the copyrighted work, the Urantia Book, was authored by celestial beings and transcribed by mere mortals. Both parties believe the words in the Book were 'authored' by non-human beings described in terms such as the Divine Counselor and the Chief of the Archangels of Nebadon. These spiritual entities delivered their teachings 'through' a patient of a Chicago psychiatrist, Dr. Sadler."

Do-do-do-do-Do-do-do-do. With anthrocentric smugness the court summarily rejects the admitted facts. It divines that the human servants (the mere channels) wrote the book by compiling the "facts," so these human channels, not aliens, can own the copyright.

I wonder. Maybe aliens already have surreptiously obtained copyrights under our very noses. No longer may we professionals take for granted that our clients are human. Serious consequences -- invalidity of copyright, non-payment of fees -- can result if they are not. My cross-examination skills may trip up these simple beings. I plan to start asking clients how they got to our office: by car, taxi or mother ship?

In any event, the alien probe has now sneaked under the intellectual property tent. Maybe next time aliens will obtain a copyright in their own right. When that day comes, I'll lobby to change our firm's policies. While we don't usually charge our travel time or costs to visit clients, I draw the line at three light years, unless time warps are involved.

Personally, I'm not surprised the Divine Counselor revealed his teachings to a mental patient. As a litigator who deals with opposing counsel daily, I come across this alien-mental patient paradigm more often than you'd think. Divine Counselor delusions are, after all, an occupational hazard.

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